Poppets, Poppets will get you laid

Imbolc, St. Valentine’s Day, the Vernal Equinox; all of these are benchmarks for throwing off the dark mantle of the old year. And what comes first to mind after casting off that gloom? Oh, come on, you know, dates, partners for the horizontal mambo, that sort of thing. It’s Love, silly, or some reasonable substitute. At least that’s the general consensus. I think of gardening and shopping, but I always was a difficult child.
This time last year, the column dealt with magickal ways to clear away lingering old love. So many people have since requested love spells, despite my warnings about them, that I have been swayed. Never let it be said that the will of the people will be ignored by this columnist. So here it is, love magic to tide you over into the spring.
This will not be the sort which invokes and slowly open the petals on the dewy bud of love; this will be more the throw me over the car and have your way with me variety.
Please don’t bother to write me about manipulating human nature through fascination and compulsion being wrong. Burn all the clothing stores, don’t look at advertisements, stop washing your hair. It’s what humans do.
The literature of magic is filled with all manner of animal parts and fluids considered effective in love magic. I generally prefer to carry around things that aren't rotting, myself, and won’t ask you to.
When in doubt, I always go with a poppet as a magical construction. They have an earthy, handmade quality, a long and distinguished history of use in all cultures, and are less likely to scare the neighbors. Also, busy hands are happy hands and the focus of your intent while bringing these into being goes a long way in achieving your goal (as listed above).
These are generally human shaped dolls, our pocket sized friends and helpers (actually, they can be any size; but discretion in these matters works much better, walking into a bar, unless they're having a “Bring Your Dolls out for a Cocktail Night” event. And even then, it’s more than likely a Jacqueline Suzanne festival.
First, choose some natural fiber and construct a small figure. This may, depending on your skill and inclination range in style from a gingerbread person to a fashion figure. Just keep in mind that this is an expression of, and agent for, your libido at its most irresistible. However you visualize that, fine. But leaving them sexless will leave you in a like condition. Hair and other features may be added as you like, sewn, drawn, or painted.
Into this lifeless form will next go some stuffing; this can be sawdust , shredded material, herbs, in any relative proportion. Saffron, Basil and Coriander are three principal love/lust drawing herbs, tried and true. Should you want to work in the Southern Hoodoo tradition, High John the Conqueror Root, Five Finger Grass, or Mayapple Root are just fine.
To these stuffing materials should be added Cedar, Vetiver, Patchouli, or Rose oil. Not all of them, and not more than a drop or two in a small figure, unless you want to clear the room. Finally, add a sprinkle of Dragon’s Blood, which is not blood at all, but a plant resin used in varnishes, or some ground red hematite (which has been used as a blood substitute since our predecessors, the Neanderthals).
You may also write down on little slips of paper any word pictures or affirmations or desires that resonate for you; don’t dash them off casually, really focus on what your trying to draw towards you.
The vital core of this creation, the spiritual pheromone generator of lust for its owner, the throbbing dynamo of your very own pocket pimp, is a lodestone, or natural magnet. Unless you're an amateur rockhound, this will be yet another of the things on your “ to buy” list.
Place the lodestone, on a Thursday, on a shallow saucer, pouring rum or whiskey over it, enough to wet it. Then wet it with a small portion of one of your bodily fluids; any of them will do, but remember, its going to live in your pocket. Finally, you will “feed” the exhausted little magnet with iron filings, or magnetic sand. Leave it on your altar with a pink candle, coated with heliotrope oil, get comfortable, and focus your attention on it, having a sequence of whatever erotic fantasies you can conjure up for a half hour. When done, slip the lodestone wear one’s heart ought to be, and close up the patient.
What you have now brought into existence is the original personal assistant, just the sort that the Pharaohs of Egypt used to create out of wax, to attack evil doers. This one is a lover, not a fighter, and has only one ability; drawing down love. Like the Tamagachi toy pets of a few years ago, this is not something which will function if you ignore it on the shelf; this should be near to your person at all times, unless you work in a field where the contents of your bag or pockets are searched. Not that discovery will disempower your creation, but it might cause comment.
There are virtually no operating instructions for a poppet. If its on your person when you're looking for love, the desired effect is usually achieved without any special effort on your part; just be your usual witty, charming self. Should you find your poppet attracting unfortunate choices your way, you’ll just have to cope, or retire to a private corner for a little chat.
Someday, the love of your life might walk into yours; the days of your poppet are over. Be as caring in its disposal as you were in its creation. Find a quiet place outdoors, cut the treads, scatter the stuffing to the four winds, and bury the lodestone. Then, you two will be ready to register your patterns, and, hopefully, get a marriage license.
Blessed be